THE TIRE SWING

THE TIRE SWING

A Play by Linnea Rose

Lights up on a small town. Lights down on a small town. Lights up on LOUISE standing center. She speaks.

LOUISE

This is home. There is a house. There is a tree. There is a branch from where a tire swing hangs down from. The swing is just the right size for my sister and I to take turns swinging from.

Two characters enter and start playing on the tire swing US. They are younger than LOUISE.

The rope on the tire swing was thick. Dad had tied it tight in a ships knot so we wouldn’t fall. He learned that in the navy. Captain Anderson of the United States Navy. We were his little angels.

A silhouetted figure appears. This figure hugs the girls. The figure leaves the stage.

He was away when Sally had her accident. She fell.. (One character leaves the stage.) The rope came undone. He never came home. He never forgave himself. We were never the same.

END OF PLAY

DO NOT WATCH THIS PLAY

DO NOT WATCH THIS PLAY

A Play by Linnea Rose

Lights up on an empty stage. NARRATOR enters.

NARRATOR

The play you are about to see is incredible dull. That characters are flat and there is no plot.

The lead actor has put no effort into their role. The supporting cast does not support the cast. The ensemble does not ensemble well together. 

The set design is minuscule and effortless. The ground plan is an empty stage. The lighting designer forgot to light the actors. Props go out to the props master for not creating and props. The sound remains unheard.

The play opened last week. Friends and family are not permitted to attend. Audience members have been warned of the sheer boredom that is to ensue if they see this production. You don’t believe us? Ask that patron who just slept through this whole speech. (Points to random audience member.)

Why am I telling you this? You may be wondering. I am warning you because do not do your own research. 

If you change your minds now, please leave your tickets on your seats. You will not refunded. The box office had closed. And your tickets will not be exchanged, believe me, you do not want to see this play anyways. 

Thank you for coming out in the snowstorm to see our production but please leave now. You have been warned. 

Now without further ado, members of human kind, I present to you…

Lights fade to black.
END OF PLAY

BEEP. LIFE. BEEEEEEP. GOODBYE.

BEEP. LIFE. BEEEEEEP. GOODBYE.

A Play by Linnea Rose

Lights up on X standing DSC. There is a bed US. There is someone in that bed. They remain still until they do not. A beeping from a heart monitor can be heard.

X

You can hear me? (Clears throat) Can you hear me? Squeeze once for yes, twice for no.

NURSE enters.

NURSE

Vitals look normal.

X

Normal?

NURSE

Yes. Normal.

X

Normal for the living or normal for coma patients?

NURSE

Normal. (Exits)

X

Did you hear that? You’re normal. If only everyone had your luck. I think you’ll be okay. You always were a champ when it came to this shit. I never knew how you did it. You just did. That is exactly what you will do now.

NURSE

(Re-entering during end of previous line) Vitals look normal.

X

Normal?

NURSE

Yes. Normal. (Exits)

X

We are becoming close friends. We talk every day. We have this running gag about your vital signs. (Laughing) You had to be there…Everyone is rooting for you.

Pause.

This will break, right? You will recover. You are normal. I mean–

The beeping has turned into a flatline. NURSE enters.

NURSE

Vitals look normal.

X

Normal?

NURSE

Yes. Normal..

Beat…

 

END OF PLAY

 

L IS FOR LABELS

L IS FOR LABELS

A Play by Linnea Rose

 

Lights up on an empty stage.

D

(Enters.) A multiculturalist

E

(Enters.) …A cultural relative

F

(Enters.) …A pro-Islamist

G

(Enters.) …An ultra-leftist

H

(Enters.) …A social democrat

I

(Enters.) …A liberal democrat

J

(Enters.) …An anti-authoritarian Marxist

K

(Enters.) …An autonomist

L

(Enters.) …A proletarian

M

(Enters.) …An anarcho-syndicalists

N

(Enters.) …An anarcho-communist

O

(Enters.) …A national communist

P

(Enters.) …An authoritarian socialist

Q

(Enters.) …A Maoist

R

(Enters.) …A autonomist

S

(Enters.) …An authoritarian

T

(Enters.) …An extremist

U

(Enters.) …A radical

V

(Enters.) …A social justice warrior

W

(Enters.) …A radical feminist

X

(Enters.) …A communist

Y

(Enters.) …A progressive

Z

(Enters.) …A socialist…

D-Z

(All together)…All walk into a label-maker…

Blackout.

 

END OF PLAY

ALT. R.

ALT. R.

A Play by Linnea Rose

Lights up on three characters: A, B and C.

A

(Steps forward) A white nationalist…

B

(Steps forward.) …A white supremacist…

C

(Steps forward.) …An antisemite…

A, B, and C all take a synchronized step back.

A

(Steps forward) …A right-wing populist…

B

(Steps forward) …An anti-elitist…

C

(Steps forward) …An ethnocentric…

A, B, and C all take a synchronized step back.

A

(Steps forward.) …A neoreactionary…

B

(Steps forward.) …A neo-monarchist…

C

(Steps forward.) …A masculinist…

A/B/C

…All walk into a bar…

Beat. Black out.

 

END OF PLAY

 

MY DARLING

MY DARLING

A Play by Linnea Rose

 

ERIN stands on a precipice. She looks over the cliff, at the waves, the rocks, the sand.

ERIN

Every day is of the ocean. Of the tides. Of the waves. Of the sands.

It follows me as it crashes against the rocks of the cliff. They sing to me of all my dreams and desires as dusk turns to evening.

CHARLIE enters behind ERIN.

CHARLIE

My darling. I am here.

ERIN

Don’t go. (She turns to embrace CHARLIE.) I tried to keep you. I couldn’t keep you.

CHARLIE

I had to leave. I had work on the seas.

ERIN

We had a life here. We could find you work here.

CHARLIE

The children?

ERIN

Eight and eleven now. As healthy as ever.

Sean plays football every day. He practices hard. Grania has been a great help and loves to sing tunes around the house.

CHARLIE

Just as they should. The town?

ERIN

Same as always. Sinead and Connor said to say hello.

CHARLIE

Hello to them. Send them my love. And you?

ERIN

Lonely without you, but the children fill me with love and true joy. They remind me more and more of you each day.

CHARLIE

I am proud of them. Please tell them that.

ERIN

You tell them. Next time they see you.

CHARLIE

I must leave now. Now that the sea s calming and the night is growing darker.

ERIN

Not again. I cannot bare it.

CHARLIE

When I am gone, look to the sea. I will be there.

ERIN

You are my hero.

CHARLIE

And you are mine.

With this, CHARLIE exits the stage. ERIN is now alone again with only the sounds of the ocean.

ERIN

He was taken by the sea. By the tides. By the waves. By the sands.

The lights slowly dim into a warm amber glow combined with the coolness of the water.

END OF PLAY

 

THIS IS THEM.

THIS IS THEM.

A Play by Linnea Rose

 

Lights up on NARRATOR who is DSC. MAN enters. Every line spoken by WOMAN becomes louder than the preceding line.

 

NARRATOR

This is Man.

 

WOMAN enters.

 

This is Woman.

 

WOMAN

Man is God’s creation

 

MAN

Woman is created by God from Man.

 

NARRATOR

Man shall never wear Woman’s clothing.

 

MAN

Woman shall never wear man’s clothing. Woman should not teach. Woman should not have authority over man. Woman must be seen and not heard.

 

NARRATOR

For they would be an abomination.

 

WOMAN

Woman is to learn quietly and be submissive.

 

NARRATOR

If Man remains unwed, he will become anxious in matters of the Lord.

 

MAN

If Woman remains unwed, she will become anxious in matters of the Lord.

 

WOMAN

(To self.) Woman is anxious of how to be holy in body and spirit. (Is not acknowledged.)

 

NARRATOR

If a Man is married, he will be anxious about worldly things.

 

MAN

If Woman is married, she will be anxious about worldly things.

 

 

NARRATOR

Man is anxious of how he will please his wife.

 

MAN

Woman is anxious of how she will please her husband.

 

WOMAN

(To self.) If Man loves Woman, they should marry, regardless of what doubters believe. Man’s passion wills it to be strong. Getting married is not a sin. (Is not acknowledged.)

 

MAN

Woman are to be devoted to setting positive messages to younger generations, such as that of the importance of marriage and children.

 

NARRATOR

Man does not have to cover his head.

 

WOMAN

(To self.) Man is the image and glory of God. (Is not acknowledged.)

 

MAN

Woman is the glory of Man.

 

Beat. Blackout.

 


END OF PLAY