DO NOT WATCH THIS PLAY
A Play by Linnea Rose
Lights up on an empty stage. NARRATOR enters.
The play you are about to see is incredible dull. That characters are flat and there is no plot.
The lead actor has put no effort into their role. The supporting cast does not support the cast. The ensemble does not ensemble well together.
The set design is minuscule and effortless. The ground plan is an empty stage. The lighting designer forgot to light the actors. Props go out to the props master for not creating and props. The sound remains unheard.
The play opened last week. Friends and family are not permitted to attend. Audience members have been warned of the sheer boredom that is to ensue if they see this production. You don’t believe us? Ask that patron who just slept through this whole speech. (Points to random audience member.)
Why am I telling you this? You may be wondering. I am warning you because do not do your own research.
If you change your minds now, please leave your tickets on your seats. You will not refunded. The box office had closed. And your tickets will not be exchanged, believe me, you do not want to see this play anyways.
Thank you for coming out in the snowstorm to see our production but please leave now. You have been warned.
Now without further ado, members of human kind, I present to you…
Lights fade to black.
END OF PLAY